Monday, March 7, 2016

HOW WE SHOULD BE RAISING YOUNG PAPUA NEW GUINEAN MEN

I wish to convey my gratitude to all those who read my posts and commented. A great many thanks to Philippe Gigliotti  Venessa Timarsikel Toreresi Larry G Chapman Shirley Nesh on Facebook for challenging  the line of thought expressed in my previous post.  These, as stated, are personal rants linked to my anger and frustration about  the state we are in as a  nation in terms of alcoholism and violence in general.  You along with many others have spurred my thoughts   to write yet again to challenge violence against men women and children from a different perspective:  

HOW WE SHOULD BE RAISING YOUNG  PAPUA NEW GUINEAN MEN
 The upbringing of young men  is crucial to the future  of Papua New Guinea.  
 A son’s upbringing begins well before birth.  In order to raise a son, a man has to love his son’s mother.   By expressing love and affection to his son’s mother, he influences a future.

DURING PREGNANCY
During a pregnancy,  it is vital  for  the father of that future young man to stay spiritually  and mentally  connected  to his woman and son.   A pregnancy is not just a physical state. It is also  a spiritual state  in which a soul  has been  placed as a gift to a man and woman  with the trust that they will care for it and raise it AS THEIR OWN. 

The mother of the child has to be able to see  what kind of a man his  boy will grow up to be through the  kindness  and generosity the child’s  father. At some point,   she will  be able to tell her son  through so many words,  her expectations of him, based on the actions  of his father.  Those memories should be consciously created by the man and woman for  the child.  These are stories that are precious and can be told over again as the child grows as it shapes and molds his respect for his mother and his father.

CHILDBIRTH
Every childbirth should be special.  Cultural dictates aside,  a man should be present during childbirth to understand  the difficulties that a woman goes through.   A man has to be able to tell his son from a position of wisdom and authority that his mother deserves the honor, love and respect   because of the trouble she went through in  the period from pregnancy to childbirth.  

FIRST MONTH
This is crucial.  The first week and the first month, are  most trying.  This is when tempers flare and  fatigue sets in because of the pressures of child rearing.    It is difficult period  but important  for the father to develop a bond with his son.  He has to feel your emotions and understand your importance in his life.  At some point he will develop a feeling of comfort in your presence.  A child reacts to his father’s anger, sorrow, frustration etc…  A baby  is a more spiritual being  in his infancy  than in later life therefore is more sensitive to his surroundings.
  
CHILDHOOD
Childhood is the creation of  millions of terabytes of information. For a boy,  a father has to be the main man creating the data and allowing his son to save as much as he can.    Some of that memory is actively saved. Others are saved passively. Passively saved data includes the manner in which his father treats his mother,  how respect  for others is expressed and how he should treat his future woman.

His mother’s role is also vital in that his view of the world as it applies to women is shaped by her.   His mother should be the expression of  both physical beauty and inner beauty.  She should be the expression of  strength that he will look for   in a woman in later life.  Disrespecting a boy’s father is highly detrimental to his views on women.  His mother has to be seen by him to be of the highest character, to be patient, determined and not weak (and I don’t mean physically weak).

TEENS
In his teens, the man to be  will not be perfect.  He will stray and get into trouble. He will experiment and push his childhood boundaries.  Be prepared for the unexpected.  Excuses should not be made for his misbehavior.  Advice and encouragement should be fed to him as regularly as his meals. 

As a father,  you should know his friends  and their parents by name.   He should be  more “afraid” of what you  than  of the remarks from his peers.   A boy should be taught to lead through his actions  and should not feel pressured  by his peers.

A father also  should be  at the forefront of his education.  Education should not happen only in the classroom but outside of it.  His mind should be cultivated  with the richness of  knowledge and wisdom and should not be left idle.  His education should include the intricacies of relationships with the opposite sex.  Again, words should never be minced.  The biggest influence in his life should be his father.

GOING INTO THE FUTURE...
Unfortunately,  I have to end it here.  For those seeking advice for children beyond their teens, please call someone older. I have not yet gone beyond this point.

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